a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize