i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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