My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
