I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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