I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
