Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
