two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
