Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
