Swine flu. Run for my life!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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