She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
