id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
