I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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