I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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