She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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