There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
