guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
