i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
