There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
zippers are such a cool invention
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
