No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize