I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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