Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
