hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
