FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
