We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize