I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
