Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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