This is not my ceiling
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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