so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
