Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
