OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There's always time for handjobs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
