Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize