TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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