I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
