I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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