Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
