I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
