I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
