Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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