The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
