i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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