so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
