porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
