just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
