thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
