I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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