Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
