story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
