I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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