obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
false alarm. still invincible.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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