I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
