I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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