Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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