who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
