im drinking this country out of the recession.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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