I cockslap morals
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
